What's New?

March/April 2010   In this issue:  New Bi-monthly Schedule  Your Feedback: Is Sex Better, Worse, or the Same?  Feature Articles: "Your Stepfamily Safety Net" & "Drug/Alcohol Addiction: What's a Stepparent to Do?"  Culture Watch: Doritos(R), the Super Bowl, & Stepfamilies  Couple Checkup & Check-in Exercise Successful Stepfamilies in the Media Upcoming speaking events: Nashville, Albuquerque, St. Paul, & Oklahoma City (Do not reply to this email. To unsubscribe, see the unsubscribe link at the bottom of the email. If you have difficulty reading this or if the links don't work in your email viewer copy & paste this link into your web browser and view the newsletter online: http://www.successfulstepfamilies.com/view/20)
Great Friends Great friends look out for each other. My family certainly has been the benefactor of that spirit. This past February we crossed the one-year mark since the death of my 12 year-old son, Connor. Extended family and many of you remembered our great pain and expressed prayers and condolences. But I must say it was our friends that touched us most through emails, text messages, and long trips to Amarillo just to be with us while we relived a most dreadful week. Thank God for friends who do what must be done.   Melanie, from Illinois, recently wrote us about her friends. "My great friends bought me The Smart Stepfamily, The Smart Stepmom, and The Remarriage Checkup books. They were a God-send! I cannot get enough of the reading material; it is all informative and helpful...Thank you for your web site and ministry. I am not alone and neither are you!" See, Melanie got the message from her friends gift of kindness: you're not alone. Like I said, thank God for friends.   Now, for a quick update on our minsitry. You may have noticed that this is the "March/April" issue of Stepfamily E-Magazine. That's because we are having to cut-back on our publiation cycle. Last month we let you know that Successful Stepfamilies has lost our ministry financial support. A few of you have responded with financial gifts (God bless you for being friends to this ministry!), but we still need to make some changes. For starters, Stepfamily E-Magazine will be published six times a year (not monthly) and I will be less available to respond to your personal emails and phone calls (because I'll have to engage in other revenue producing activities instead).   What can you do? Tell a friend or ministry leader about Successful Stepfamilies (or forward this email to them!) When you buy resources, purchase directly from us Prayerfully consider making a one-time or regular donation (learn more here) Pray for this ministry. Finally, in this edition we're asking for your feedback about sexuality in marriage. Not much has been written about this topic so we're asking: Is your sex life better, worse, or the same than a previous relationship and how do you feel about it? See details to read or submit your anonymous thoughts below.   In His Grace, Ron L. Deal, Founder & President   PS. I proudly share with you my son's story and music here...   Home | Articles | Conferences | Donate | Shop | Personal Help
Our Mission: Preventing redivorce, strengthening stepfamilies, & breaking the generational cycle of divorce.   Donate Today                        Successful Stepfamilies & Ron L. Deal in the Media   To schedule an interview email judy@rondeal.org.   Upcoming Media Appearances: WGN tv, Chicago - scheduled interview March 26th Ron Meyers Live - scheduled for March 1, in MS, LA, AL, and online Morning Blend, WEMI, Appleton, WI, March 2 John & Stephanie Show, WORD-FM, Pittsburg, PA March 2 For Faith & Family - scheduled taping March 4th Round the Country, TFC Radio Network (NC, SC, GA), March 10 Talk from the Heart with Rich Buhler, KBRT (So. California), March 10 Vocal Point, WAFG (Ft. Lauderdale region), March 16 Frontpage, WWIB (Wisconsin), March 22 Neil Boron Live (Toronto, Ontario, Buffalo), March 22 CCN - scheduled taping, May 5-7 Recent Media Appearances: Debbie Chavez Show--Listen online (click Archived Shows, then scroll to date 2-10-10 "Remarriage Checkup") Rich Bruce, WTRM (in VA & PA), Feb 24 The Source with Paul Anderson (nationwide), Feb 21 KFUO, St. Louis, Feb 22 Prime Time America, Moody Radio Network (nationwide), date TBD The Bob Dutko Show, Detroit, Jan 15 Mid-Morning, WBCL, airing in IN, OH, MI, Jan 27 God at Work, WCRF, OH markets, Jan 27                     Conference Locations   March 5-6  Nashville, TN April 10  Albuquerque, NM April 30-May 1  Minneapolis (Couple Checkup Conf) May 14-15  Oklahoma City June 10-12 Pepperdine University, Family of Faith Conference, Malibu July 8-11 Smart Marriages national conference, Orlando   Get conference details   Your church can host this event.   Therapist training—details here.                                               Stepmom Workshops with Laura Petherbridge Visit www.LauraPetherbridge.com                                                   Contact Us   Share your comments or feedback by emailing judy@rondeal.org. Do not reply to this email.               International Ordering Information   The Smart Stepfamily, The Smart Stepmom, The Remarriage Checkup, and The Smart Stepfamily DVD (beginning spring 2010) are available through the international distributors of Baker Publishing Group. Click here for a PDF list of countries and distributors. Our other resources are available only through us. You must email or phone us directly to place an order (international shipping rates apply).   International orders email: nan.deal@successfulstepfamilies.com   Phone: 806-356-7701             Keep Receiving E-Magazine   When your email changes, enter your new address here so you can continue to receive E-Magazine.  Be sure to authorize your email program (e.g., Earthlink) to allow emails from admin@successfulstepfamilies.com or you will be blocked from receiving the E-Magazine!     Culture Watch: A Doritos Ad, the Super Bowl, & Stepfamilies The following commentary is shared this month with the hopes that you can share it with a ministry leader, counselor, or family professional. Just copy, paste, and share!     A Package of Doritos or a Package Deal? Ron L. Deal www.SuccessfulStepfamilies.com   The internet and YouTube is abuzz with chatter about the Doritos Super Bowl commercial featuring a young boy who confronts his mother’s date with a slap on the face. “Keep your hands off my mama. Keep your hands off my Doritos,” he challenges. (Watch it)   The ad, a top 10 Super Bowl contender for 2010, is being called “creative, simple, witty, and amazingly effective.” Effective at what? Selling Doritos—sure. But more importantly, it is also an effective wake-up call for millions of Americans about the realities of remarriage and stepfamily living. (If only Frito-Lay knew how socially insightful they are.) Remarriage with children is a package deal but most couples are not slapped into reality until after they tie the knot. Only then do they realize how thick are the complications of stepparenting, coping with ex’s, fears of another break-up, and the jealousies of children.   ·        There are 35 million remarried people in the US and another 36 million who are divorced or widowed who might someday be in a remarriage; ·        About 40% of all weddings are remarriages and most (those with children from previous relationships) form stepfamilies; ·        One-third of individuals who got divorced in 2008 were redivorcing (that is, divorcing again); ·        Over 60% of remarriages end in divorce subjecting children to yet another family disintegration. ·        Multiple family break-ups then slap children in the face. Their emotional and psychological well-being and their confidence in the institution of marriage diminish contributing to a generational cycle of divorce.   But the cycle can be broken.   Marriage educators and churches must help couples uniquely prepare for remarriage and stepparenting and our culture must not laugh in the face of stepfamily challenges. There is too much at stake. Learn more at www.SuccessfulStepfamilies.com.     Ron L. Deal is President of Successful Stepfamilies which maintains one of the largest web pages for stepfamilies in the world. He is author/coauthor of a number of books and resources for stepfamilies including his latest book The Remarriage Checkup: Tools to Help Your Marriage Last a Lifetime with David H. Olson. Based on the largest study of remarriage strengths ever conducted the book includes a free individual online relationship profile. In bookstores everywhere, online, or at www.SuccessfulStepfamilies.com.           Featured Articles   ·        Building Your Stepfamily Safety Net by Todd Gangl    Stepfamily safety nets, like their circus counterparts, do not just happen. They are intentionally rigged and strenuously tested to ensure success.     ·        Drug/Alcohol Addiction: What's a Stepparent to Do  A Smart Question, Smart Answer reply by Betty McNulty    What do you do when a stepchild is drug addicted and the biological parent is enabling them?        From the Archives: Find hundreds of articles for dating couples, stepfamily couples, and church leaders here   Smart Questions, Smart Answers:    o   I Don't Like My Stepson   o   Boundary Setting with an Ex-Spouse           Remarriage Sex: Better, Worse, or the Same?   This time Successful Stepfamilies is seeking your Smart Answer. Submit your anonymous, candid comments about sexuality in your marriage. Is it better, worse, or about the same as in a previous relationship...and why?   All comments will be moderated for appropriateness. Read or share your anonymous feedback here...          Featured Resource   The Smart Stepfamily DVD, Small Group Resource by Ron L. Deal   Discover the key steps to building a healthy stepfamily. Designed for small groups, but equally useful for personal home study or premarital counseling, this series includes:   8-sessions on 2 DVDs   FREE downloadable Participant & Leader Study Guide (no leader training required).   Study Guide coordinates with The Smart Stepfamily book.   For couples or stepfamily ministries, small groups, and Bible classes   Applicable for married, dating, & engaged couples (a great premarital counseling tool for ministry leaders)       Shop all resources here                 Couple Checkup & Check-in Exercise Healthy couples intentionally check-in with one another about aspects of their relationship. Review this finding from Dr. David Olson and Ron Deal’s national survey of healthy remarriages and discuss the questions that follow. Be open to learning about yourself and your relationship.   Research Finding: The percentage of unhappy couples in remarriages that are concerned about their partner's previous sexual experiences and how it will impact their marriage is four times that of happy couples.   3 Question Check-in for Married Couples: 1.    On a scale of 1 to 10, share how generally satisfied you are with the amount of affection and the quality of your sex life? 2.    To what degree do you wonder about how your partner's previous sexual experiences compare to your sex life? How concerned to you feel about this?  3.  What, if anything, would you like to improve in your sex life?     Adapted from The Remarriage Checkup: Tools to Help Your Marriage Last a Lifetime by Ron L. Deal & David H. Olson, Bethany House Pub., 2010.             Save Your Marriage: Marriage Therapy Intensives One of the most effective efforts of Successful Stepfamilies is our marriage intensives for couples in crisis. Spend 3-days with Ron in a personal, protected environment and save your marriage.   Here's feedback from one couple from Missouri:   From Her: We were at a breaking point in our marriage. The three day intensive with Ron was a last effort to save our marriage. We went in feeling angry and hopeless and left with a renewed strength, forgiveness, and hope for our future. Ron helped us to discover the root of our problems and gave us the tools we needed to improve our communication. He truly saved our marriage!   From Him: Our marriage had been struggling for quite a while until it reached the point where we were ready to call it quits. Our 3-day intensive was our last attempt to repair it. Going into it as a “do or die” situation was indeed scary. However, Ron was able to hone in on our underlying issues that were contributing to our destruction. Let me tell you, they were not at all what we thought they were. With Ron's help, our understanding of each other, and his take-home tools tailored to our needs, we have greatly improved our communication and saved our marriage. I love my wife now more than ever!     Learn more here
Do You or Your Church Have a Web Site? Copy and paste this static link so others can find us! [[ Begin Static Link ]]  Successful Stepfamilies provides practical resources, free articles, and conference information to families and the churches that serve them. Their web site is the largest, most visited, and most referenced site for Christian stepfamilies in the world. Build your stepfamily (blended family) or marriage ministry today.  [[ End Static Link ]]  ( Above link goes to http://www.successfulstepfamilies.com )